Episode 10: UI DIARIES

Sighing deeply, she continued “I went on to spend four months in the hospital and five months convalescing at home. Those were the darkest moments of my life. “

With silent streams of tears flowing down her cheek, she blotted with her handkerchief. “These past three years of my life has taught me a lot of life’s lessons. For someone who has been mobile all her life to suddenly be reduced to nothing but a struggling structure of pain and bitterness. It was not easy at all. For a long while, I was angry at everyone. God. Man. Myself. I was filled with bitterness and resentment. You see, I didn’t want to wake up to the reality that my life had taken a drastic turn and I had to grab the paddle to stop it from spiraling out of control”.

Smiling, “But one thing I failed to consider was why did I survive the accident. I was too wrapped up in self loathing to ask myself why God chose to spare me. I could have died. Life would have continued. And I would have been nothing but another sample of the statistical report on road accidents on Lagos highways. Still, here I hated myself for not dying when I could have been forgotten”.

“When the doctors opted to place me on a wheelchair, I resisted vehemently. They warned my parents of the resulting complications that would result from stressing my left leg especially. I stood my ground and insisted on getting orthopedic crutches instead. After my physiotherapy sessions I got my first crutches”.

Staring off into space, she said in a small voice, “It was horrible. My armpits became so sore they bled at intervals. Every day I practiced with them until I learnt to ignore the pain”

At this point, I was already rubbing my eyes to prevent the onslaught of tears. Holding my hands, she continued ” My sister, I’m not telling you all these to instill your pity. No. I’m just telling you that just like everyone else living with pain in this world, I also deserve to live. Everyone out there has learnt to mask their pain in one way or the other then why should my case be any different? You know, people live with different types of pain. Some are felt in the body, some are soul deep while some live with painful memories. Should that stop them from continuing their journey on finding balms to their pain? No. Everyday should be seen as a day of healing and mending. In my own case, I’m an anomaly. I shouldn’t have survived but here I am like every other person with a fighting chance who needs to prove to life that it is worth living. I’m not going to continue see myself as an oddity of nature. No. I’m just like you, them and us. I didn’t ask for this but here I am anyway and I’m gonna take full advantage of that opportunity. Why? Because I deserve to live too, just like everyone who has learnt to live beyond the pain. I have a fighting chance and I’ll fight every step of the way”.

As she spoke, there was fierceness in her eyes that told a story of pain, determination and healing. Her shoulders were set in a way that showed her scars. Physical and otherwise.
Rubbing circles on her back, I held her closer as I commended her for a fight well fought.

(To be continued)……..